Motherhood

Our baby will be one month old this week, 1 whole month! When did that happen? I feel like he just got here. I was joking with Dave the other day that it feels like April never actually happened and I would like it back please. This is mostly  because I spent 90% of the month inside trying to figure out how to take care of this new baby and doing the bare minimum, cause that's all I had time for, to take care of myself for a quick and speedy recovery. The days were just flying by, it would be 4 O'Clock and I would be like hmm where did the day go?

It's crazy how much your life can change in an instance, how quickly you can grow to love someone and all the worry and concern that comes with that. It's taken time to figure out how to add him into the mix, and we are no where close to figuring it out. I'm sure as soon as we do though he will be on to the next stage and challenging us again to make it work. That's the fun part though right?

Some days I fee like I've got it all figured out and then the night or the morning comes and I get a big ol' slap in the face reminded me that I don't. I'm learning to feel proud of the small moment victories rather than whole day victories. Him taking a nap in his crib is a victory even though he refuses to later that night, us walking to the store and back is a victory even if he had a total melt down when we got home. 

Motherhood, in my very short experience, has been everything I thought it would and everything I didn't. I know everyone told me I would be exhausted and it would be the hardest thing I've ever done but I didn't think it would be this hard. I also didn't think it would be this amazing either. How could I know how much I would be in awe of him or how much I would love him. I couldn't. I love him to the moon and back and I wouldn't trade this not even with all it's most difficult moments for anything.