May 12, 2014


Motherhood was not something that came easy for me, while I loved Rivers from the second I saw him  it was awhile before I felt like this heavy fog had lifted and I was able to see my role as a Mother for what it was. As a new mom I watched so many mothers around me enjoy motherhood, everyday was a joy and blessing to them and I began to question why I wasn't feeling the same.

I dreaded the mornings when David would have to leave us for work, my days were difficult and long, I thought this selfless love and service was suppose to come easy and I felt guilty for not loving it the same, guilty I was blessed with this beautiful baby and not enjoying as I should.  Looking back now I can see it for what it was, hindsight is always easier. I was under a fog and it took much longer than I thought to come out of. At almost 10 months since I had Rivers did I finally start to feel like myself. 

So this day in May 2014 is extra special to me, this Mothers Day I am now able to see my role as a Mother for what it really is. It is not a burden but a gift, everyday that I have to be a mother to this sweet baby boy is a blessing. I am trying to be more grateful for the long days we have together, for the opportunities I have to see him experience things for the first time and for the moments of snuggles and laughter we share. While I struggle with it and am still learning and coming into my own as a mother I've come to realize that this life is made up of moments of joy. Not every second can be blissful and picture perfect and it's through those eyes that  I am understanding Motherhood maybe a tiny bit more.

May 9, 2014

The City by the Bay

Oh San Francisco how you stole our hearts! I day dream of living underneath your beautiful blue skies and inside your gorgeous walk up apartments, playing with my baby in your luscious parks (the parks! I've never seen a city with better parks!) , then strolling your streets at night after eating a long dinner and soaking your energy all in.

Seriously though there was this energy everywhere we went and it felt like a smaller sunnier New York City. I feel like there isn't that kind of energy in the little suburb of Utah that we live but that's another thing. It was a short trip to the bay, we flew in Friday night and left very early Monday morning. We were able to cross off almost off of the tourist spots in two days, walking everywhere we were able to see a lot more than we would have driving or on a bus.

My  best friend from Idaho now lives a couple hours out of the city in a town called Davis and she with her husband were able to come and play with us on Saturday. Short back story, both of our husbands had cancer at the same time and that kind of stuff really bonds you so it was so great to see her and catch up and actually talk face to face! I condensed a lot of the pictures to fit in this one "small' post, since it was almost three months ago that we went to San Francisco I didn't want to drag it out more than I already have....Ahh!

^^ The palace of fine arts makes you want to fall in love (all over again)^^
^^We didn't actually ride a trolly but they sure are fun to look at.^^
^^We drove down Lombard street like every other tourist there that day. How can you not?^^
^^ Painted Ladies.^^
^^ Ghirardelli square, the history of Ghirardelli is actually pretty cool and his chocolate isn't too bad either. ^^
Thank you for such a lovely time San Francisco, hopefully we will be seeing you soon!

May 6, 2014

A First Birthday Party

I was talking to my very first blog reader (my dad) the other day and he commented that it had been so long since I updated the blog since my San Francisco here we come post that people probably thought I had died in San Francisco. This made me and laugh and so I decided I would break the radio silence to show off Rivers first birthday party we threw for him last month... Progress!

The idea was to keep everything as simple and stress free as possible. We invited a small handful of friends and family over for breakfast on Saturday morning and kept the food simple with donuts, bagels, and fruit so I wouldn't have to stress about making any food. The only real activity planned was the cake smash (he hated it) which gave plenty of time for the kids to just play and the adults to enjoy each others company. 

Instead of gifts we invited our guests to bring a small donation to Rivers college fund, something we already donate to each month ourselves, but we thought it would be nicer to bring something for his future instead of a random gift we will most likely give to goodwill in a couple years.

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Boy! We Love You To The Moon and Back!

February 21, 2014

San Francisco Here We Come!

We are headed off to San Francisco this afternoon for a little weekend getaway! While I've stalked all the bloggers that call San Francisco home for their local eats and hangouts I'm curious if anyone has a place we must see or must eat! Hopefully we will come back with a little sun on our cheeks and pep in our step! Happy Weekend!

February 14, 2014

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day!

I looked back through this blog and my family blog to reminse over past valentines and in every post I declare Valentines my favorite holiday. I just had to laugh at myself because I know so many people don't like Valentines and most don't even consider it a holiday. However I couldn't help but be very impressed with how much effort I have put into our Valentines day. This will be our 7th Valentines day and I'm not sure what has gotten into me this year, I haven't done anything incomparission to years past.

This morning we went to a brunch and then later this afternoon we passed out these cookies to some friends, and tonight David is making me dinner at home and I'm sure we will just relax. We are keeping it very low key and for once I really don't mind.

Hope you have a wonderful night spending time with the one you love, whether your a believer or not.

February 13, 2014


A Home:

We've started the slow hunt for a home! Four walls and a roof to call our own. While this is so so  exciting it's also very disappointing. I didn't realize buying a home was such a game! How am I suppose to compete with an offer having no clue what the other offer is? These sellers are pulling at the heart strings of poor families just make a few extra thousand. It's pitiful. I'm also just grumpy because we lost a home to this exact scenario, the home that would have been absolutely perfect for us.

But now that more than twenty four hours have passed and I'm not as sad as I was last night, I have faith that something better will come along, and hopefully something we don't have to stretch the budget for. I've gotten so caught up in the look of my home I need to remind myself what really makes house a home.

Because what really makes the perfect home? Surely it is not the price tag or location, but rather a place where there are enough rooms to fit all my future babies. Where they can spread their legs and run and be free from the cares of the world. It is a place where the kitchen is spacious enough to hold all the laughter frustration and tears that will come its way. A backyard large enough to hold camp outs, water fights, and a kitchen table to eat our dinner under the summer sky. Where a garden can be grown and a little puppy can call home. A dining area big enough to hold all the friends and family for Thanksgiving dinner, and a living room spacious enough for us to gather around at the end of the day and spend that precious time together as a family. 

Most importantly home is a place where we can come and feel safe from the world and know that it is here we are loved and cared for. That here the most important things are celebrated, Family.

*My amazing sister-in-law made this for me for Christmas using water color and cut out each and every little flower. It's so beautiful and amazingly detailed. If you want one of your own family she is starting her own shop. E-mail her at

February 12, 2014

Dancing with my Baby

Jeans: Gap Jacket/Shirt: J.Crew Necklace: F21 Shoes: H&M

One of my new year goals was to cook more, usually I just wait for David to get home and he cooks us up something while I play with Rivers or clean up the mess Rivers had made through out the day. But this usually results in us eating later than we want and by the time we eat I've gotten so hangry (being angry because you're so hungry) that dinner is no fun for anyone. Or we ditch making dinner and go out to eat which is no good for the budget or our waistline. So this week I've been starting dinner around 4 which makes that last hour of the day go by much faster and no one is hangry.

Usually Rivers plays in the living room destroying the book shelf or whatever else he can find, but today Rivers would not take his afternoon nap and was probably getting a little hangry himself so I had to hold him while making dinner. Usually music is playing while I cook and in an effort to soothe my little baby I began to dance with him and for a few short minutes my sweet baby boy nestled into my shoulder and let me sway with him to the sound of the Iron & Wine pandora station playing from the small speakers of my iphone. And even though I was frustrated with him for not taking his nap and for refusing on a daily basis to not take naps in his crib but instead in my arms, I was reminded for a moment that all the hard work I do and all the naps that do not get taken are worth it for those short moments where he shows me how much he loves me and I can feel that he knows I love him just as much if not more.