May 12, 2014


Motherhood was not something that came easy for me, while I loved Rivers from the second I saw him  it was awhile before I felt like this heavy fog had lifted and I was able to see my role as a Mother for what it was. As a new mom I watched so many mothers around me enjoy motherhood, everyday was a joy and blessing to them and I began to question why I wasn't feeling the same.

I dreaded the mornings when David would have to leave us for work, my days were difficult and long, I thought this selfless love and service was suppose to come easy and I felt guilty for not loving it the same, guilty I was blessed with this beautiful baby and not enjoying as I should.  Looking back now I can see it for what it was, hindsight is always easier. I was under a fog and it took much longer than I thought to come out of. At almost 10 months since I had Rivers did I finally start to feel like myself. 

So this day in May 2014 is extra special to me, this Mothers Day I am now able to see my role as a Mother for what it really is. It is not a burden but a gift, everyday that I have to be a mother to this sweet baby boy is a blessing. I am trying to be more grateful for the long days we have together, for the opportunities I have to see him experience things for the first time and for the moments of snuggles and laughter we share. While I struggle with it and am still learning and coming into my own as a mother I've come to realize that this life is made up of moments of joy. Not every second can be blissful and picture perfect and it's through those eyes that  I am understanding Motherhood maybe a tiny bit more.

May 9, 2014

The City by the Bay

Oh San Francisco how you stole our hearts! I day dream of living underneath your beautiful blue skies and inside your gorgeous walk up apartments, playing with my baby in your luscious parks (the parks! I've never seen a city with better parks!) , then strolling your streets at night after eating a long dinner and soaking your energy all in.

Seriously though there was this energy everywhere we went and it felt like a smaller sunnier New York City. I feel like there isn't that kind of energy in the little suburb of Utah that we live but that's another thing. It was a short trip to the bay, we flew in Friday night and left very early Monday morning. We were able to cross off almost off of the tourist spots in two days, walking everywhere we were able to see a lot more than we would have driving or on a bus.

My  best friend from Idaho now lives a couple hours out of the city in a town called Davis and she with her husband were able to come and play with us on Saturday. Short back story, both of our husbands had cancer at the same time and that kind of stuff really bonds you so it was so great to see her and catch up and actually talk face to face! I condensed a lot of the pictures to fit in this one "small' post, since it was almost three months ago that we went to San Francisco I didn't want to drag it out more than I already have....Ahh!

^^ The palace of fine arts makes you want to fall in love (all over again)^^
^^We didn't actually ride a trolly but they sure are fun to look at.^^
^^We drove down Lombard street like every other tourist there that day. How can you not?^^
^^ Painted Ladies.^^
^^ Ghirardelli square, the history of Ghirardelli is actually pretty cool and his chocolate isn't too bad either. ^^
Thank you for such a lovely time San Francisco, hopefully we will be seeing you soon!

May 6, 2014

A First Birthday Party

I was talking to my very first blog reader (my dad) the other day and he commented that it had been so long since I updated the blog since my San Francisco here we come post that people probably thought I had died in San Francisco. This made me and laugh and so I decided I would break the radio silence to show off Rivers first birthday party we threw for him last month... Progress!

The idea was to keep everything as simple and stress free as possible. We invited a small handful of friends and family over for breakfast on Saturday morning and kept the food simple with donuts, bagels, and fruit so I wouldn't have to stress about making any food. The only real activity planned was the cake smash (he hated it) which gave plenty of time for the kids to just play and the adults to enjoy each others company. 

Instead of gifts we invited our guests to bring a small donation to Rivers college fund, something we already donate to each month ourselves, but we thought it would be nicer to bring something for his future instead of a random gift we will most likely give to goodwill in a couple years.

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Boy! We Love You To The Moon and Back!